Competitive or Contemplative

Hmmmm…this post could be risky, but let’s go for it!

Currently, I am learning to be more contemplative. I find great freedom in slowing down to be present with myself, others, and God. I learn this contemplative posture by praxis. Intentionally slowing down to be present, whether it is through Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, Spiritual Direction, or other spiritual practices.

Competition is a natural bent, especially raised in America. We are born to strive and thrive. Competition is not inherently terrible, as it does make for some fun and interesting times.

I’m sure competition has its place as does contemplation, but consider what drives you. Consider what makes you feel most alive. Consider what lingers after you have left the presence of another.

Yesterday I went to a volleyball game. One of my daughters was playing. They were excited. We were excited. We wanted them to win but with every point the other team scored, we knew it was not looking like a win for us. The crowd started off with positive comments. When a player missed the play, they told them to shake it off, they would be ready next time. Next time came and they missed it again. Each time they missed it the crowd (aka certain spectators) grew more weary and less gracious.

Then came the subtle rude comments that made my stomach churn. I waited, hoping the team could pull it together so the rude comments would cease. It didn’t happen. It got worse and so did the comments. I felt the need to speak up and say something, but first I paused and asked myself what exactly I planned to say. After answering myself, that’s what contemplatives do, I decided it was best for me to move seats.

What I wanted to say to a few of the parents would have been far worse than anything they had said and I probably would have ended up in a fight.

I’m so grateful for the pause. I’m so grateful for the discipline of checking in with myself before I speak. I’m not 100% in checking in with myself, but this time I was on point. When the game was over, I walked out of the gym and was able to leave the comments on the court.

Yes, it bothers me that kids are exposed to such negative influences, especially learning a new sport, but I’m more grateful that my kids have me as a positive influence. There will be a place to address the rudeness of spectators, but the gym was not that place. I would have been another spectator making noise.

Again, I’m learning how to be more contemplative.