Tuesday Lent 2

‭Some of you set sail in big ships; you put to sea to do business in faraway ports. Out at sea, you saw God in action, saw his breathtaking ways with the ocean: With a word he called up the wind— an ocean storm, towering waves! You shot high in the sky, and then the bottom dropped out; your hearts were stuck in your throats. You were spun like a top, you reeled like a drunk, you didn’t know which end was up. Then you called out to God in your desperate condition; he got you out in the nick of time. He quieted the wind down to a whisper and put a muzzle on all the big waves. And you were so glad when the storm died down, and he led you safely back to harbor.

Psalm 107:23-31 MSG

We are called to be the salt of the earth. But when we are too salty, problems arise. Or shall I say bigger problems arise.

I remember seeing God in action! It was breathtaking. Energy soared through my body.  All I wanted was to work with God, to see and do even greater things. So I took a leap of faith and got caught up in the thrill of the adventure. I wanted more and more. I felt powerful. I was confident that I was doing God’s work. But then it happened. A wave hit. Many waves hit.  I found myself breathless! Empty! Defeated! It actually felt worse than when I began. How could a pursuit of God and doing God things lead to this?

I wouldn’t have admitted it then, but I got a little too salty. Call it sassy,  call it overly zealous,  call it whatever you want. I know what it was for me. In my pursuit of God and doing things the right way, I became a bully, a Pharisse, a judgemental human. There was a way that seemed right, and I felt others should follow. And when they didn’t, I became even more critical.  Sure, others may not have seen this side of me, but it was there,  lurking in the shadows. One thing I have learned about my shadow is that it won’t stay quiet, and it won’t stay hidden.

The wave was a gift. It wasn’t intended to take me out. It was what led me to become aware of myself and to ask for God’s help. Perhaps the wave diluted my saltiness and brought balance to this driven side of me. Maybe there was no other way to remedy my saltiness than by tasting my own salt. Who really knows but God?

I’m grateful there is a remedy! I don’t have to be overly salty forever!